Thrive! Humor

The male brain

Martin — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 18:24:16 +0000

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.

‘I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news,’ he said as he surveyed the worried faces.

‘The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.

It’s an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope.

Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.’

The family members sat silently as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, ‘Well, how much does a brain cost?’

The doctor quickly responded, ‘$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain.’

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,

‘Why is the male brain so much more?’

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, ‘It’s just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they’ve actually been used.’

Pearls of wisdom

Martha — Fri, 23 May 2008 18:30:07 +0000

The first few were funny . . . OK, the first one was funny.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

Daily Thought:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES, NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

Muppet Rick Roll

Martin — Thu, 22 May 2008 18:53:42 +0000

One of the better Rick Roll’s I’ve seen, got to love the Muppets!

Sarcasma

Martin — Thu, 22 May 2008 17:09:11 +0000

Are you tired of repeating the phrase, “Ya Think?!” Do you often bite your lip during meetings to suppress your blatant sarcasm from spewing out? Relax. You don’t have to live with it anymore. Now there’s Sarcasma - the sarcasm suppressant.

I think Martha and I need a prescription for this !

I’m in ur backyard makin mah lunchez

Martin — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 23:15:08 +0000

I’m runnin down ur wallz ignorin ur gravitiez

Martin — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 00:10:03 +0000

Photo: I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?

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If reality and the internet collided!

Martin — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 18:49:55 +0000

Photo: XKCD

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I’m on ur broom goin 2 Hogwarts

Martin — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 03:48:32 +0000

Photo: I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?

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I’m in ur bed sortin ur paprwork

Martin — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 20:40:50 +0000

Photo: I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?

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I’m in ur kitchen cleaning your floor

Martin — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 18:02:17 +0000

Photo: Cute Overload

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